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I’m sure we’ve all had those moments. They are staring back at you with a look of sullen non-cooperation, and you think, “Right then, it’s time to bleed the lazy freeloader.” And then the questions kick in. Is seven too young?
So, first, we should establish how old they are. Seven is probably a little young and they may not be earning much. Unless you want to be reimbursed in gummy bears purchased with the pocket money you gave them, this may not prove the income stream you imagine.
On the other hand, this is the age when they are most demanding so, in terms of service provision and landlord obligations, it may be the moment to strike. Alternatively, you could go for some kind of minimum-service obligation with top-up fees for additional extras. Even so, you may want to consider extracting your early-years rent in the form of chores. The advantage of this is that you condition the spawn young to the rent principle. You might review this again at, say, 14, though, even then, the income stream is likely to be minimal and you have to consider the possibility of having the notion thrown back at you as you reach your dotage.
Aside from household chores, we are probably talking about adult working-age children. Either they’ve left school and got a job or they are back from university and working or, possibly, they are supposed to be looking for a job, but appear to your jaundiced eye not to be putting enough effort into the search.
Anyway, the answer to this issue lies with two fundamental questions. 1. How much do you need the money? And 2. How desperate are you to get rid of them? If money is an issue and they are earning, then it is reasonable to ask for a contribution. Or perhaps you don’t exactly need the money but feel that some offering towards room and board is still merited. That’s fine too.
Assuming, though, that money is not the central consideration, then we come back to question two. How keen are you to be shot of them? Because once you get above a relatively modest charge, you are pretty much challenging them to shove off. As a tactic for freeing up the house, I recommend it. If you want a new study, a walk-in closet or just somewhere else to dump the clutter, you know what to do.
The other issue, frankly, is that once you make them pay, the relationship clearly changes. What once were obligations to you are now their rights as a tenant. And we need to think about legislative changes. Labour has promised to end “no-fault” evictions. Once you start charging, you may never be able to get them out. Admittedly, as a parent, you are genetically engineered to find fault with your children but this may not be the kind of fault that stands up at a tribunal.
Obviously, if the goal is to ease the loafers out of the family home then you need to go for something above market rates so that they could actually save money by moving in with mates. This should free up a room within two or three months. Although, in certain parts of the country, such as London, that might mean gouging the spawn for a four-figure sum each month. On the other hand, think of the holidays for two that gets you. I’m talking Orient Express level here.
Again, though, with that level of rent comes certain obligations. Your tenant will expect the shared rooms to be maintained to a high standard and will not expect to give way when you need the bathroom. The dinosaur mural on their bedroom might need painting over. They will be entitled to complain about broadband speeds or noise when they are trying to sleep. And they won’t feel under any obligation to chip in when you need a favour, walking the dog, waiting in for the plumber and so on. You may want to factor in a domestic-duties discount to ensure they remain amenable to such demands.
Charging is generally tricky. Children might feel entitled to some kind of loyalty discount for the long years of patronage. They are also a known quantity, which must be worth something, except, clearly, on those occasions when it isn’t.
On balance, I take the view that they will be gone soon enough so no need to speed the process. Should you feel differently, the path to your walk-in closet is just a couple of rent cheques away.
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